2017
As I reflect on this past year I am amazed at all that has transpired. We came into 2017 hoping for a much better year than 2016 which had been a little hard. We weren’t even a week in and I was sick already. We were in due diligence for selling the company we were both at. Within a month Kendall got a crazy debilitating illness that took several months to resolve and was one of those that makes you ask really hard questions and puts you on your knees and teaches you to just trust. In the midst of that - I was on my third antibiotic and we were in a different due diligence which led to an acquisition. The week we announced the acquisition, we were in Europe with the kids touring Vienna, Budapest, Bratislava, Cesky Krumlov, and Prague. The trip was AMAZING and crazy to even be on in the midst of everything else going on. We were so grateful to be well enough to travel...the trip was a blessed reprieve for 9 days and the first bright spot in our year. One would have thought the acquisition would have been a bright spot and it did glow slightly. However, our dream ended differently than we had hoped and worked so very hard for and sometimes that can be very painful...it was for us. We had to reset our expectations and we had to forgive people and circumstances that we couldn’t control. On top of that, the transition was not smooth for me. Misaligned expectations led to incredible frustration and self-doubt. But just when I thought I couldn’t be angrier, more hurt or more saddened, the light at the end of the tunnel came and I found myself with an exit plan that allowed me to indulge in my family and friends and regroup for the final three months of the year. In addition, I was fortunate enough to be invited to join a new company before my break even started and will be starting there the second week of January. This meant that I really could just sit back and catch my breath. I redecorated, I lunched with friends, I spent time with my kids before, during and after school. I soaked up time with Trevor and Rachel as I feel the tender pangs of them leaving our home coming too soon. I was just “there”. I processed, I slept in (a lot) and I let the layers fall away as I let go of all of the years of pent up stress, anger, and resentment from being overworked and self-flagellation from being over-invested emotionally and mentally. I thought I would work out and meditate and be in tip top shape but that actually didn’t happen. (LOL) Instead, I focused on cultivating the ability to just be who I was in the moment. I still want to do those things and I’ll look forward to that in 2018 but, winding down 2017 with a genuine self-acceptance that I don’t think I’ve ever felt, is enough. I am grateful for the trials that we endured, lessons learned, the gift of perspective and for the rich blessings that were bestowed upon us...family and friendships at the top of the list. So it is with an incredibly grateful and peaceful heart that I say goodbye to 2017.
2018, I’m coming for you.
